Reason why I gained the weight, and today is going to be a good day.

I woke up at 6:30 and was (and still am) in a great mood!
Granted, I'm not going to classes today because I just have waaaay too much to do but I plan on getting a lot accomplished today.

I woke up at 6:30, took my sister to the bus stop, came home, and instead of passing out on the couch in pain, I made coffee. =)

I started a cup of coffee and felt completely refreshed from all of my extra rest, and went through the list of things I was going to do today...

Clean (Which I already started, yes...at 7 in the morning...=))
Go to church for Ash Wednesday Mass (at 12-noon)
Go and get Colin's birthday gift(s)...He'll be turning 3..and he is sooo adorable. =)
Go to Wal-mart to pick up some sort of fish...probably just fish
sticks for dinner tonight..lol...or if I am feeling really good I may make salmon...=)
Also I have to get a new dish scrubber, some iron pills, annnd maybe some cookie mix, because I am sooo craving a chocolate chip cookie.
Then later, working out on the elliptical and doing maybe shred 1
Paul isn't going to his basketball league tonight because of Ash Wednesday so I get to spend the day with my love =).
Then tonight our show comes on at 9...We love Ghost Hunters and Ghost Hunters International...I know it may seem stupid or immature, but I believe that spirits are always around us, and the show just proves it.

Especially because I have had a few experiences..and I know this sounds creepy or stupid but I lost a very close friend of mine in October of 2007. He was on his way home from work late one night and ended up in a car accident.
The irony of it was that Paul wasn't living with me at the time, and he was going to leave my house around 11, and I asked him to stay a little longer, so he said Okay 15 minutes then I have to go.

Paul left at 11:15, and was the one to find the accident...he didn't know who the driver was, but called me shaken up because of how bad it was. I just told him to call 9-1-1 but to not touch the driver or the car. So the police were called and Paul told me it was a white car, so I didn't really think anything of it.

The next day I was on my way to get some food and I decided to call Derek to see if he knew (he's an EMT) who was in the accident last night. Straight to voicemail. It was strange because he was one of my best friends, and he knew if I was calling during the day, something happened, and I needed to talk. I didn't leave a voicemail.

I went to basketball practice, no problem. I was on my way home, and Paul had picked up my sister for me and was waiting at my house, he said that he asked his sister who it was, but she didn't remember the name (He was a senior.).

I pulled into the driveway and my phone rings...It was mom.
She had asked me if Derek was the one I did my Sociology Wedding Project with my senior year.
I broke down crying.

Then it all hit me...Derek used to drive a white Ford Contour...When his uncle passed away, in his will, he wanted to give Derek his black corvette for a graduation present, little did I know, the corvette was in the shop and Derek was driving his old car.

The police say that he fell asleep while driving, but when Paul was driving home one night he asked Derek what happened and out of nowhere, in the same exact spot of the accident, a deer jumped out from no where into the middle of the road.

Needless to say, his viewing and his funeral were the two hardest things I have ever had to do in my entire life...but the night before the funeral I had a dream about him, and we were talking about things we had never said in real life before...and it wasn't a conversation we would usually have..and it was about his accident.
I still believe that he is watching over me, and I can still feel him...That is why I believe that there are spirits that around us all of the time...

His death was the main reason why I gained the weight. Paul had delt with a death of someone close before, and he told me what his father told him...Don't drink your pain..If you have to choose..eat it away.

Weight you can lose, death you can't.

The first few days after his death, I didn't want to eat, I didn't want to drink anything..I just wanted to lay in bed and not do anything. I didn't really want to talk. I cried most of the time...
Then I took Paul's advice, I ate...and I ate...and I ate..constantly.
So now it's time to show Derek that I am okay, and I will be healthy, and I will live a life long enough for the both of us.

And,
This blog isn't meant to depress anyone.
It's been over a year, and I think about him every single day..but I know I can't let myself get so wrapped up in his accident, I need to move on and live my life, but to remember the memories and the type of person he was.

That has been a huge help, the memories. It has helped me to see the type of person I want to be, and ultimately it has shown me how precious life really is.

Since I have realized this, it has become the reason why I want to lose weight and become as healthy as I can.

Anyway, on to a more positive note...

I haven't really eaten anything yet, I'm going to weigh myself, but I have had coffee..lol.
I'll probably have a croissant, because I'm craving one...stupid Aunt Flo...

B: Coffee and 1/2 Croissant: 172 cal

S1: Probably water.

Lunch: Caesar Salad: 160 cal

S2:Chocolate Chip Cookies Probably 2-3 if I can contain myself lol: 260-390 eek!

D: Fishsticks and French Fries: 281+130=411 cal

Total: 1,003-1,133..not too bad. WebMd says my caloric intake should be around 1,702..so that's not too bad.

Also, pending my workout plans...
Elliptical (hopefully 40 minutes): will burn 529 calories (474 left to burn provided I only have 2 cookies..lol)

Weight lifting (per DVD I'd say 10-15 minutes for shred 1): Only 44, cardio may help it though (434 left)

Shopping: Non-Grocery 1 hr 15 minutes (both stores I have to go to): 254 calories burned (180 left to burn)

Church: Sitting 30 minutes: 44 calories burned, sitting in church..lol. I had no idea..haha (136)

Circuit training in general for 30 minutes (per Shred 1): 353

Technically I would be burning 1,224 calories.
Woo hoo.

Okay, it's almost 9 already so I have to get going...I have to wake Paul up..the Bum.


Have a great day everyone!!